Child Heart

Kids are amazing. Ha. As several neighbors and friends have asked me to babysit/nanny their kids during this unusual new season, these past few months have been jam-packed with laughs, tears, complaints, awkward stares, affectionate hugs, and wonder.

It’s funny how young kids continue to be a theme in my life since I’ve moved back to Colorado. Whether I’m babysitting, photographing or editing photos of kids, or getting emotional listening to NEEDTOBREATHE’s new song “Child Again,” the message that a child’s heart is incredibly vulnerable yet hopeful continues to appear.

God’s shown me so many practical examples of what it means to be like a child at His feet. For one thing, when any of the kids that I babysit fall down, they may cry, sit in silent shock for a few moments, or scream – but then within five minutes, they’re back to playing full-swing. Not a care in the world. No looking back. Resilient. Can I be like this, Jesus? I want to get right back up when I have a hard “fall” in life – to trust that my Father’s got me and to see past hurts as moments when He was present, rather than as circumstantial hindrances that don’t let me move forward.

There’s a phrase in the previously mentioned song “Child Again” by NEEDTOBREATHE that goes like this:

Yeah, I know too much I think I know my way around Too smart to feel a heartbreak now Too old to let my safeguards down Where'd the wonder go? Trading magic for a measured hope Traded dreaming for a worn out home Tired of being in control

Doesn’t that sound all too familiar? Yes, there is a part of me that always wants to be in control, but Jesus also made me a very emotional human. Ha. And that part of me has always felt shame. However, this lyric helped me reconsider: perhaps vulnerability and feeling deeply are qualities He wants me to use to know Him better. When others look into my eyes, I want them to see childlike faith and resilience. Not shame and the need for control.

Where’d the wonder go?